I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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