Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
