dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
