honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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