We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
