I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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