Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
its liver damage thursday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
