do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Randomize
