So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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