a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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