Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
