Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
