How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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