shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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