does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
