not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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