Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize