she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
