Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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