dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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