the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
