thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
