Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
