i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
