one two three fourrrrnication!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize