So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
