pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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