I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
