Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
