Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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