he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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