HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
