So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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