and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
