I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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