He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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