i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
