I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
