Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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