explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I know her cup size but not her name....
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
