I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
