I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
