Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
