I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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