dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
