She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
