And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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