Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
