We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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