I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
