Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
