Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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