good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
