Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
